Cutting down Iran to size?

by Nazarul Islam | Published: 00:00, Jun 27,2019

 
 

An Iranian woman walks past a mural painting illustrating ancient Persian poetry in the Iranian capital Tehran on June 25. — Agence France-Presse/Atta Kenare

WHILE Americans slumbered deeply at the weekend, ace strikers of the US air force were on an important mission and just minutes away from bombing the hell out of some desolate Persian outposts, somewhere in the desert, about to launch yet another catastrophic military blunder in the Middle East.
At approximately 0400 Zulu time, US president Donald Trump and his top advisers — among them, John ‘the Walrus’ — were gathered in the Pentagon’s War Room, flight paths arcing across the big board. The hotline to Vladimir Putin’s office in St Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow had been activated. The full force of the US military was about to effectively strike on a package of top-level Iranian targets with, perhaps, no strategic value whatsoever.
Apparently, planes were flying in the air. It was all so terribly, terribly exciting for the president and the staff of the strategic command.
This awesome demonstration of American resolve was meant to be the ‘punishment’ for the vicious slaughter of an expensive US military drone, which was — let us say, peacefully — invading Iranian airspace, not at all attempting to provoke the Iranians into blowing it out of the sky with a missile so that the US military could find justifications to ‘retaliate’.
The CFC Military-Industrial Complex would never dream of doing anything like that, not even to further the destabilisation and restructuring of the greater Middle East that they have been systematically carrying out since the collapse of the former Soviet Union.
Incursions into Iranian airspace of this non-provocative military drone have nothing whatsoever to do with the crippling economic sanctions the USA has imposed on Iran in order to completely destroy its economy and foment a coup against its leaders who are allegedly ‘conspiring’ with Hezbollah and al-Qaeda to develop an arsenal of nuclear weapons to be launched at Israel and Saudi Arabia and ‘other’ peaceful Middle Eastern democracies.
Paradoxically, these countries had possibly been responsible for the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 and, who knows, maybe even the Big Bang.
Iran, we must remember, is a ‘terrorist nation’ which is not playing ball with the selected members of the ‘international community.’ That is exactly why NATO has it completely surrounded and is flying hundred million-dollar military drones up and down its coastline.
Another plausible reason for going through the drill is that they do not like homosexuals — the Iranians, not NATO, of course — and they burn big American flags on television and generally act like Germany’s Nazis every other way. On top of all this, they are the so-called allies of Russia — the fountain of all democracy-hating, fascist evil in the world today.
What, I don’t know, makes it kind of weird is that president Donald Trump would want to attack them and destroy their economy, initially with those tools of crippling sanctions.
I mean, why would Putin allow the POTUS to do that? What was the point in brainwashing all those African-Americans with those Facebook adverts if his president Donald Trump was just going to let ‘The Walrus’ and his deep state cronies bomb his allies?
Iran has been callously displaying the butchered remains of the innocent $220 million surveillance drone that they had ruthlessly downed.
Honestly, the more I watch this ‘movie’, a thriller, the less the plot makes sense to me; but then, I am just a small writer, an old horse, who cannot mend old habits. I am certainly not a professional or a geopolitical analyst or whatever to define the status.
If I were one (a geopolitical analyst), I guess I might want to take a step back and try to frame the past week’s events within a broader historical context rather than getting all worked up by the manufactured mass hysteria of the moment. If I did that, things might look a bit clearer albeit somewhat less terribly exciting.
For example, that destabilisation and restructuring of the greater Middle East that I just mentioned above has been in progress since the early 1990s regardless of who was sleeping in the White House.
The Gulf war, the Iraq war, the ‘Arab Spring’, Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Syria, et cetera… if I were a geopolitical analyst, I might be able to discern a pattern there and, possibly, even some sort of strategy.
If I were a particularly cynical writer, it might look to me like global capitalism, starting right around 1990, freed by the collapse of the USSR to do whatever the hell it wanted, more or less immediately started dismantling uncooperative power structures throughout the greater Middle East.
My cynical theory would kind of make sense of the ‘catastrophic policy blunders’ that the United States has supposedly made in Iraq, Libya and throughout the region, not to mention the whole ‘global war on terror’ and what it is currently doing to Syria and Iran.
Take a good look at this Smithsonian map of where the USA is ‘combating terrorism.
Note how the US military (ie, global capitalism’s unofficial ‘enforcer’), has catastrophically blundered its way into more or less every nation depicted.
Or ask our ‘allies’ in Saudi Arabia, Israel, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, Turkey, United Arab Emirates and so on. Okay, you might have to reach them in New York or London or in the south of France this time of year but go ahead and ask them about the horrors they have been suffering on account of the past ‘US catastrophic blunders.’
See, according to this conspiracy theory that I would put forth if I were a geopolitical analyst instead of just a political satirist, there have been no ‘catastrophic policy blunders’ — not for global capitalism.
The west’s ‘glastnos’ (restructuring) of the greater Middle East is proceeding exactly according to plan. The regional ruling classes are playing the ball and those who would not have been regime-changed or are being regime-changed or are scheduled for a regime change.
Certainly, for the actual people of the region and for regular Americans, the past 30 years of wars, including the ‘strategic’ bombings, sanctions, fomented coups and other such shenanigans, have been a pointless waste of lives and money, but global capitalism does not care about people or the ‘sovereign nations’ they believe they live in except to the extent they are useful.
Global capitalism has no nations. All it has are market territories which are either open for business or not.
Take a look at that map again. What you are looking at is global capitalism cleaning up after winning the cold war.
And, yes, I do mean global capitalism, not the United States of America (ie, the ‘nation’ most Americans like to think they are living in despite all evidence to the contrary).
I know it hurts to accept the fact that ‘America’ is reduced to being ‘a simulation projected onto an enormous marketplace’, but seriously, do you honestly believe that the US government and its military serve the interest of the American people?
If so, go ahead, review the history of their activities since World War II and try to understand how they have benefited Americans, not the corporate ruling classes, only the regular working-class Americans many of whom cannot afford to see a doctor, buy a house or educate their children, not without assuming a lifetime of debt to some global financial institution.
I realise that I digressed a little. The point is: ‘America’ is not at war with Iran. Global capitalism is at war with Iran — the supranational, corporatist empire. Yes, it wears an American face and waves a big American flag but it is no more ‘American’ than the corporations it is composed of, or the governments those corporations now own, or the foreign military forces that those governments control, or the transnational overseas banks that have kept the whole show running.
To share with you how I feel, this is exactly what Iran and Syria were up against. This is also what Russia is up against. Global capitalism does not want to ‘nuke’ them or occupy them. It wants to privatise them as it is privatising the rest of the world, as it has already privatised America, according to the weird theory, of course.
But, again, I am just a small writer, not a geopolitical analyst. What the hell do I know about anything? Probably, if we just impeach Donald Trump or the Walrus of Death, or elect Joe Biden, or Bernie Sanders, or some other individual, we can put an end to all these catastrophic blunders that America keeps making in the Middle East.
So, now I want to forget these crackpot conspiracy theories and want everyone to get back to whatever terribly exciting crisis is unfolding today.
Seriously, now my brain kind of hurts. I cannot wait to switch on the internet and find out who is threatening America now — Russians, Iranians, Venezuelans, anti-Semites, Mexican migrants, or the Nazis? The possibilities are endless.

Nazarul Islam is is a former educator based in Chicago.

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